Have you remained in contact with an ex lover?
I restarted blogging after almost 2 decades for the same reason I had done it in my early 20's , to try to make sense of my thoughts and actions.
It was prompted by an occasion where I reached out to a former lover for some help and the turmoil in both my and her relationship caused because of that. There hasn't been anything sexual between us in ages, long before we met our current spouses.
Have you been there? How did it work out?