Sympathy and Reality
I sympathize with a lot of this as a single man in his 30s. I think the sentiment is accurate. It can be quite difficult to date after mid-20s and it feels like there is more sympathy towards women in this regard. Single men past a certain age are treated with some amount of suspicion. Why are you single? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you only interested in hookups?
At the same time, this is something which is difficult, but not complicated. Dating in college is easy because you’re around single people all the time. It’s difficult to recreate that as an adult, so you have to put in a lot of effort. Going to singles events, joining different social and activity groups, putting yourself out there as much as you can. If you missed the boat, chances are your friend group has no leads for you to help you make connections. You have to go find them yourself. You have to put in way more effort than early 20s, but that’s just the reality.
The encouraging part is that, when you get out there more, you’ll likely find that many people are not actually looking perfection. They want to find someone they feel safe and comfortable with who they can trust, someone who is fun and enjoyable to be around, someone who is reliable and consistent enough, someone whose long term goals and values align.
The difficult part for men is you have to initiate almost all the time and you will be rejected most of the time. It requires ensuring you develop legitimate self esteem and confidence, as well as the social skills to handle the rejection with grace. This is something you don’t have to develop so much when dating earlier in life when there are many more options. It’s difficult initiating an interaction you know is likely to fail and still give it 100% engagement and effort.
You really have to just try and practice a ton. You’ll get a lot of advice from people who found their partners in their 20s who have no idea what they’re talking about. It’s annoying, but just ignore it.
I have no coherent, solidifying point here. I sympathize, but worry some men get stuck focusing on the unfairness they perceive. Focusing on this is to their own detriment. I think some of this is legitimate, but it’s societal and mostly out of your control. You just have to keep trying and learning how to put your best foot forward, while gracefully accepting rejection over and over and over and over again. It only has to work out once. It will eventually. Learning how to have fun with it anyway and make new friends along the way can make it actually enjoyable. It’s a part of your life and you should try to find ways to enjoy it.