Changing sexual norms and is being a "slut" disqualify a woman from marriage?
This is a longer version of what I wrote on substack:
I came of age in the middle of Millennial Hookup culture. Here are some things that I've observed over the last two decades:
If a woman is still a virgin after about the age of 21—and definitely after 25—men take that to mean that there must be something wrong with her.
Is she asexual? Is she low libido?
Does she have terrible social skills or bad hygiene?
Is she just not that desirable (ie, too fat, not pretty enough)?
Is she some kind of freak (and not in the fun way)?
Virginity simply does not hold the same cache that it did in a post-industrial, post-birth control world. And, in general, men—even the ones who purport to be religious—would rather have a guarantee of an enthusiastically sexual wife than risk a dead bedroom.
Whether we like it or not, people exist in the context of their environment, and so does their sexual behavior. And while it is true "you just need to find one person!" --the reality is that you have to do a little bit of optimization too. This is not to say I think women who believe strongly in sexual purity before marriage should "compromise" on that, but I honestly don't know what the solution is.
All this to say, it seems that the environment is shifting again. Gen Z is just...not having sex. And I don't think it is because they are RETVRNING to a time where virginity before marriage was the expectation --I think it is because they aren't attracted to each other as much as they are addicted to their technological vices.